


Mark of the Lost

by Serpex



Series: Annie Week 2020 - Serpex [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Army, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Death, F/F, Female Hange Zoë, Headstones - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian, Letters, Military, Minor Character Death, Trains, Travel, War, Yuri, former soldier, graves, strawberry fields - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpex/pseuds/Serpex
Summary: Memories are powerful. They can carry the greatest moments in life, but they can also carry the worst. Regret is a double-edged sword only combatting blind rage. Annie had many emotions regarding her past and had no reason to ever go back. But, when she saw the letter sitting on her table from her father, her sentiment got the best of her.
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Annie Leonhart
Series: Annie Week 2020 - Serpex [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666270
Kudos: 3





	Mark of the Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Annie Week 2020 with prompts set by [@JezterEddin](https://www.wattpad.com/user/JezterEddin) on Wattpad
> 
> Day 6: Strawberry Fields/Travel
> 
> This is going to be a different fic compared to the others. I'm going to say upfront, this is kind of angst. So, take that with whatever grain of salt that you will. That's all I want to say.
> 
> Follow my Wattpad: [@Serpex](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Serpex)  
> Follow my IG: [@actualserpex](https://www.instagram.com/actualserpex/)

Trees, buildings, and miscellaneous billboards zoomed by as the train rattled along the track. The skies were cloudy leaving a grey blanket on the world making the shadows dance. Annie leaned into her girlfriend's side as her gaze lingered on the silent motion picture. Hanji glanced down and slowly linked their fingers together. Annie turned and raised a brow in confusion.

"Are you nervous?"Hanji asked. Annie shrugged.

"After so many years, it feels no different than traveling to another country. It's not really home anymore for me."

"But, you grew up there, right?"

"I suppose," the blonde answered. "I lived a sheltered life, so I can't say for sure if I really grew up with a normal childhood. Father never cared to let me see the world."

"But, the letter–"

"It might have been the ramblings of a dying man. I don't know if it's sincere. And frankly, I don't care."

"And yet, here we are on a train to visit his grave," Hanji mused. Annie jerked her hand away, her face flushing in embarrassment. Sometimes, she hated how bluntly direct Hanji was. Although, it was appreciated to have someone who never sugar-coated things. Honesty was welcome in Annie's life.

"S-Shut up, you goggled disaster," she mumbled. Hanji just shook her head with a grin evident on her face.

The whole incident started almost two weeks earlier.

Looking back, Annie never imagined she'd find a companion with her old friend. The forensic investigator was as lively as she had been in high school. Serving in the army had taken its toll on her. Wounding her shoulder left her with no choice but to be discharged. When Annie came back from her flight, she knew she wasn't going to go home. After all, a soldier who couldn't shoot straight had no place on the front lines. Even when she did, she resided in a hotel and not her home with her father. She jumped from town to town quickly after that until one day she grew exhausted and found herself dozing off on a bench. A squeal had woken her up to which she saw a figure running full speed towards her in a hazard suit.

The people from her past whether it was high school or elementary were nothing but dying fires in the back of her mind. She didn't really care about the people she had grown up with. In the real world, it didn't matter to her who she was with or who she talked to.

But no, she wasn't allowed to walk a blind world with figures passing her by. Instead, she was half kidnapped and stuffed into Hanji's apartment where the scientist nursed her old aching wounds and started caring for her. Annie hated it at first. She criticized everything about Hanji's lifestyle trying to get her upset enough to kick her out. And yet, Annie still came back to the apartment flat every night even if she'd spent the day figuring out a way to kill Hanji and hide the body. Somehow, they ended up rolling on the floor together tongues intertwined and bodies melting together like the final piece of a puzzle had fallen into place.

The mutual relationship bloomed out of the living arrangement, and it came to Annie that she never wanted to leave Hanji. Annie took up working at a local gym becoming a private fitness instructor and bodybuilder. Day in and day out, the two found a soothing flow. All of it broke when Hanji trudged in one day and tossed a pile of mail on the counter. Most of it was junk mail albeit for two or three bills. However, among the thrall of envelopes, a single unmarked white pink envelope laid beneath it all. There was no name except for 'Annie' written on top in fancy calligraphy. Curious, she opened it up and was shocked at its contents.

_Dear Annie,_

_I know that I can never ever make up for what I've done. Seven years have passed, and it is only now that I have found the coverage to search for you. I wanted to look you in the eyes, hold you in my arms, and with all the love a father can muster, I wanted to say that I am sorry._

_However, it seems my time has come to an end. I never gave you the hero's welcome home that you deserve. I never even had the strength to shake your hand. I never asked if you were okay. I was never the father that I should have been._

_And now, I may never see you again. I expect that when you receive this letter that I will be gone. I've already made the arrangements. There is a copy of my will in the letter. Everything I had, it belongs to you. Annie, I love you. I always have. And I always will. I didn't realize how much I truly cared about you. I hid and ran from the truth like a cowardly dog who'd been kicked one too many times. And when I lost you, I realized there was no going back._

_And now, I must be the one to leave. But, I will be nearby whether you choose to stay or leave it all behind. The grave will go next to your mother in the backyard, beyond the garden, and within the center. You remember, right? Although I will never hear your answer, I would rather die knowing that you'll at least try to forgive this shell of a man._

_With love,_

_Papa_

Annie's immediate thought was to burn the letter, tear it to pieces, or even chew it and spit it out like nasty gum. And yet, she couldn't move from that spot. She just stood at the counter staring at the parchment. Hanji leaned over to read it as well and made quick work to clear the table and find the will. True to his word, Annie's father had left her every single fortune he had to his name down to her.

"Are you going to go?" Hanji asked. Annie grimaced as she finally set the paper down and collapsed into a chair.

"I don't know," she answered.

Memories are powerful. They can carry the greatest moments in life, but they can also carry the worst. Regret is a double-edged sword only combatting blind rage. Annie didn't think she had regrets. She wanted to believe that she didn't. She left the past behind and had no reason to ever go back. But seeing that letter sitting on the table from her father, the sentiment got the best of her. Past the bad memories were loving ones that she held locked away, memories of her father, her mother, and herself.

"You want to go back," Hanji finally said. It was not a question, but a simple statement. Any variance of Annie's resolve was shattered with her girlfriend's clear reality.

"Will you go with me?" Hanji let out an exasperated scoff and nodded.

"Of course I will."

And now, two weeks of preparations later, the two were on an expressway back to Annie's hometown. Aside from the passing scenery, nothing too much of interest stood out. It all mushed together into a stew that slowly steeped and turned into one pile of slop. Moving from the train station back to her house was left in silence. Even Hanji had enough respect to sensing the uneasiness and hesitation lingering in the air. She tentatively held Annie's hand squeezing it in reassurance as they took one step after another down the path.

Overall, the house had remained unchanged. The little farmhouse was snug in the homestead surrounded by foliage and crop fields that had been overrun. It made sense since she knew her father would have been so stubborn to never let anyone tend the fields except for himself. The inside was shockingly clean which left them to wander and pick the rooms for the short duration they would be staying. However, there was still one last place to go.

"Ji-Ji, do you think you could follow me for a second? There's a place that I want to show you in the back," Annie said. Hanji raised a brow but set down her things and gestured for Annie to lead.

"Off we go, then," she replied. They rounded out to the backyard where the clearing narrowed down to a stone path. The bushes soon sported little red bulbs. Hanji realized that they were strawberries. It only got bigger and bigger as they walked deeper into the field. Unlike the rest, this area had been well cared for and tentatively nurtured. "I'm amazed at how fruitful this is." Annie hummed in response.

"Dad was always obsessed with the strawberries. I think it was because they were the one plant that mother cherished. I don't remember her, but I remember he would always look at an old photo album. She... She died when I was born. When she gave birth to me, her appendix ruptured. The stress in addition to giving birth was just too much for your body. Sometimes... I think that my father resented me for that. But, I suppose I'll never know now," she explained. "Up ahead is an old oak tree. At the base of the trunk is a series of exposed roots that makes like a little cavern of sorts."

"Ah, I see. So, is that were the headstone is?"

"Yeah." True to her words, a looming oak tree was soon waving in the distance. Below the towering branches were two headstones, one much newer and brighter than the other. Annie felt a sinking feeling in her chest. She wasn't sure what to make of it. She'd grown up with no one else except for her father. She resented him, respected him, hated him, and even deep down, she knew that there was forgotten love festering inside. It scared her as much as it comforted her.

Hanji reached out and squeezed Annie's hand. Her warm smile made Annie calm down. She let out a breath she hadn't even realized was caught in her throat and then knelt down. She wiped down her mother's grave until it was as visible as her father's. There was a serene feeling in the air as she stood back leaning into Hanji for support. Words fluttered through her mind like an echo that she should have said. But every time she opened her mouth, Annie promptly closed it again. Words felt like too much as much as it felt too little. But, having the secure arms around her and hands intertwined with hers, Annie finally settled on two that she could say.

Her father was gone. Her mother was gone. Her comrades on the battlefield were gone. And yet, there was still one person standing by her now. Annie suddenly shifted so Hanji was slightly in front of her. The brunette cocked her head but obliged to be manhandled until she was standing before the two graves. With a renewal of energy, Annie let a small grin envelope her face. She didn't belong here at her childhood house. And she didn't belong in the guise of military barracks. But, being here with Hanji was a different feeling, a feeling of belonging.

"Mama, papa..." She ran her fingers over Hanji's knuckles gently running circles in her hands. "I'm home."

**Author's Note:**

> Annnnnnnnnnd would you look at that: I just have one more now. I'm actually going to finish Annie Week fics before the year ends xD
> 
> Keep an eye out for the final installment coming eventually ^^


End file.
